The greatest role of a preacher’s wife is to be an encouragement to him. All wives are to be a help-meet, but a preacher’s wife must also encourage him in his difficult job. He may get discouraged or meet with adversity. We should reinforce his desire to preach. We should know the purpose of preaching and remind ourselves and our husbands of that purpose frequently. We should help the children understand and understand ourselves when he may have to be away from home at times or be called away from family times.
She should also reinforce the positives when negatives such as lack of money may be on her husband’s mind. While a preacher’s wife is his greatest source of encouragement, she can also be his greatest source of discouragement if she is not careful. Try to remain upbeat, if we complain each step of the way it will be very hard on our husbands. Many preacher’s leaves the ministry because their wives are unhappy. A preacher’s wife should, in some people’s opinion, be near perfect.
As one poem reads, she should be without a fault in view, have her home be like a small hotel, hear people’s burdens while remaining a ray of sunshine, have a sympathetic ear and have model children; she also should have lots of grace…An “easy” task. She must be a Christian with all it entails and a recognized leader (James 3:1). God should be first in her heart. She should also care for her home, family and husband. As the book states, you can’t please everyone all the time, so don’t try. Please God and the rest will follow.
Some qualities needed are: adaptability to situations and new places; selflessness- not as much time with your husband as you would like, doing without; friendliness – being involved with people; self-esteem –you will be criticized, so learn to not take it personally; mental toughness – strength of character, ability to bounce back, ability to not let others run over you. A preacher’s wife is also often the creative financial manager. She learns to make do with little or none. Priorities may need to be looked at. Legitimate financial needs may need to be brought to the congregation for consideration.
Some families choose for the wife to work outside them home. This should be looked at carefully regarding sacrifice worth benefit. Husbands may need to assume more duties around the house. Most importantly, pray before you take action. Clyde Yarbro, Jr. ’s article in Diane Singleton’s book explains that all occupations have their own special duties; evangelism is no exception. A preacher’s wife, like all other women, has the God given duty of being a help-meet for her husband. She must share in his particular duties, responsibilities and problems.
They may have greater obligations and responsibilities than most women, but she also has greater opportunity for service and personal contact. The advantages of being a preacher’s wife far outweigh the disadvantages. One must have a good attitude, because the wrong attitude can be discouraging to our husbands. Stress levels can be higher for preacher’s wives than for preachers. Fatigue and time pressure are a large part of that. Often wives feel left out, try to schedule some time together, go on visits, etc. or find other ways to spend time together. Time needs to be spent on the marriage.
Husbands should remember that they are not just a preacher, but a husband and as such, the spiritual head of the household. A preacher’s wife should try to have a positive attitude and a deep caring for others. She should help her husband in his work as much as she can be it visits, gospel meetings or whatever. Working together will bond you and make you more content. She can accompany her husband on visits. We as Christians are all commanded to visit the fatherless and widows (James 1:27) and the sick (Matt. 25:36, 43). She should also not just visit, but help in any way she can.
Titus 2:3-5 says that we are commanded to teach, by word and by example, the younger women to be sober, love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers of the home, good, obedient to their own husbands. Teamwork is key…think of Aquila and Pricilla. Being friendly and outgoing is also helpful. It helps the brethren and it helps you and your family. Since you may move a lot, meeting new people will be a very real part of life. We should be polite and friendly even when faced with criticisms that may come. We must also find contentment in adversity.
Patience is also a much needed trait for a preacher’s wife. There will be many situations that arise. Patience will be needed to find contentment, The real key to contentment though is prayer and the study of God’s Word. A preacher’s wife needs to encourage and support her husband, a true help-meet. She should also try to spend as much time with him as possible. If this is not possible, she should use the time wisely with hobbies or something else constructive or she may resent the “job”. There will not be a lot of material gain, but the benefits are so rewarding. Saving souls along side your husband, what could be better.