Site Loader

According to the peer review I received, my essay sports a strong and clear issue supported by adequate imagery. It does, however, have several flaws that need to be addressed in order to make it a stronger paper. These flaws, as identified by my peer reviewer, include lack of a title, technical errors in sentence structure and grammar, and an awkward paragraph.The addition of a strong title would serve to draw the reader’s attention to my essay and help in clearly stating the purpose behind my writing in this assignment. An appropriate title would tie in my central purpose (that is, explaining my torn feelings between love for my new home and opportunities in the United States, and missing my mother and old life in Rio) with the direct examples I provide in the narrative (pressures of working for a living, the plight of the elderly trapped in nursing homes) and their relation to Salve’s story.Sentence structure and grammar also have several flaws in my essay, primarily due to English being my second language. Some sentences sound a little awkward and do not flow correctly. Other errors are simple proof-reading mistakes including reversed pronouns (“his” used instead of “hers”, etc) and spelling mistakes. These should be relatively simple to correct and will play a huge role in making my essay appear more professional.The final flaw, as identified in my peer review, rests with paragraph 5- which my reviewer found confusing. On re-reading it myself, I can easily see how this is so. This paragraph, describing Salve’s family, is somewhat jumbled and suffers from a number of grammar errors that make it confusing. Cleaning up this paragraph will express the ideas presented more clearly and make the paper as a whole flow much more evenly.

Post Author: admin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


I'm Tamara!

Would you like to get a custom essay? How about receiving a customized one?

Check it out