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Jenny is fourth year high school student who always feels that she needs to prove something to everybody. She studies hard and is always attentive in her class discussion. She is always cautious in everything she does. She is very intelligent but very silent that most of her batch mates sees her as an intelligent, silent, and timid person almost to being a nerd. She wants to change her image and be more relaxed in conversing with everybody, and be involved in class discussion instead of just listening and absorbing every class discussions. She does not have the confidence to speak out her view. She wanted to be part of the debate team but looses confidence and feels her knees turned into jelly when she think of speaking out her thoughts in front of the whole student body. Her professors always try to convince her to join debate and inter school quizzes but refuse them. They believe in her and her talents, but she thinks otherwise.One day, one of her professors approached her to take an academic scholarship entrance exam for college from a prestigious university. However, with her how she sees herself, she refuses to take the suggestion. Her professor was determined to convince her, she asked Jenny to take her to a psychologist friend and help gain her self-confidence. Little much of her professor’s knowledge, there is a deeper reason why Jenny’s confidence is not developed.Her professor found out that Jenny was raised in an environment that caused her to doubt her competence and adequacy when she was just a child. In her emotional development process, her key influence was her parents stinging bite of disapproval and discouragements, criticism, and ridicule. According to Roy Baumeister, Self-esteemfluctuates as a child grows. It is frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child’s experiences and new perceptions. Parents are responsible for their child’s self esteem development. A child who has low self-esteem may not want to try new things. He or she may frequently speak negatively about his or herself, saying such things as, “I’m stupid,” “I’ll never learn how to do this,” or “What’s the point? Nobody cares about me anyway.” The child may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. Children with low self-esteem tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in them. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions. A sense of pessimism predominates. (96-101)A child who has healthy self-esteem tends to enjoy interacting with others. He or she is comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, he or she is able to work toward finding solutions. He or she voices discontent without belittling herself or others. For example, rather than saying, “I’m an idiot,” a child with healthy self-esteem says, “I don’t understand this.” He or she knows his or her strengths and weaknesses, and accepts them. A sense of optimism prevails. (1-144)Desperate need of affirmation and support, Jane tend to struggle in to prove her self -worth by studying hard and trying to excel in academics, music, and sports. However, during her childhood, countless situations of disappointment, ridicule and criticism made her think that she is not good enough. Because of these negative experiences, she is filled with doubt and confused. She continues to evaluate herself based on the numerous unhealthy comments, criticism and ridicule. Jenny’s childhood experiences is opposite on how to build a child’s self esteem of Sedikides which is spending much time with the child especially in activities he or she enjoys and he or she is good at, and allow him or her to make some decisions, so he or she can learn responsibility and can feel that his or her parents trust her or him. Parents should learn how to praise their child, pay positive attention to him or her, and teach him or her on how to accept praise for hi or her accomplishments. There is also no need to rescue their child from frustrating experiences. Instead help and try him solve the problem him or herself. He also suggests that:q  Parents should be cautious on what they say.Children are very sensitive to parents’ words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. However, be truthful. For example, if your child does not make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, “Well, next time you’ll work harder and make it.” Instead, say something like, “Well, you didn’t make the team, but I’m really proud of the effort you put into it.” Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.q  Parents as a role model should be more positive.Too harsh, pessimistic or unrealistic on their limitations and abilities may eventually mirror these attitude by the child. Never to nurture ones’ self-esteem too!q  Redirect and identify a child’s inaccurate beliefs.It is important for parents to identify kids’ irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they are about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping a child set standards that are more accurate and be more realistic in evaluating himself or herself will help him or her have a healthier self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to a child. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, “I can’t do math. I’m a bad student.” Not only is this a false generalization, it is also a belief that will set a child up for failure. Encourage him or her to see the situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: “You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We’ll work on it together.”q  Provide positive and accurate feedback.A comment such as, “You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!” will cause a child to start believing he or she has no control over his or her outbursts. A better statement is, “You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn’t yell at him or hit him.” This acknowledges a child’s feelings and rewards the choice that he or she made, encouraging him or her to make the right choice again next time. (110-138)People with low self-esteem believe the worst about themselves because their self-esteem was not developing properly. Self-Esteem starts being developed as soon as a child is born. Self-esteem is being built in this stage from their basic needs. They gradually learn that they are loved as the people who care for them consistently treat them gently, kindly, comfort them when they cry, and show them attention. On the stage of being a toddler, they continue to learn and understand self-esteem and self-identity. They will reach a clearer understanding of their self-identity and how they fit in this world by the age of three years old. However, the most critical stage where self-esteem develops is at the stage of school age. (110-138)With the help of her professor’s friend, Jenny realizes that she have the capacity to alter the course of her life. As a person, she has the ability to become the captain of her own ship, the person who controls the transitions in her life.As a person, we always have a choice. Those who do not opt to work toward change will once again be choosing self-defeating behaviors over those that can enhance and better their lives; they will be choosing to remain stifled, enslaved, and miserable. Those who choose to work at improving their lives, which actively work at improving their self-esteem, will reap the rewards; each step towards recovery will break one link in the chain of low self-esteem.

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