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Majority of people consider family as the support unit for their children, and yet there are some cases where children are actually harmed by a myriad dynamics that parents experience in their own lives. This harm happens when parents experience various kind of societal pressure that affects them emotionally and mentally. The causes of such pressures, also known as stressors, can be as minor as an argument at work, and disagreement between the parents, or as major as death in a family, loss of work, or financial instability. An example of a typical, day-to-day stressor that a lot of people experience can be an automobile accident, divorce, severe illness or death in a family. It can also be a rude remark by a passing car driver, extraneous workload, or even a spousal interruption of the favorite TV show.It has been well documented that the stressors that cause a state we call stress might affect the organism’s physiology negatively (i.e. elevated blood pressure) as well as cause undesired psychological reactions (i.e. irrational snapping or yelling at others). This argument will focus primarily on the psychological effect this phenomenon plays in the children’s life. To forewarn, this discussion is not to find a blame accusing parents of neglecting their children’s psychological state, it looks more so for an acknowledgment to such a problem. Simply speaking, the problem lies in the situation when the parents are preoccupied with their emotional state and consider less that of their children. Certainly, the lack of consideration is not an excuse for a child’s suffrage. Therefore, parents should be encouraged to understand the impact their emotional state has on their children’s emotional health. The unintentional transference of parent’s stressors causes long-lasting negative effects for the children that at times result in psychological problems with the society and the emotional scarring that can last a lifetime.The book “Family Stressors” relates the story of a mother (Loretta) who had been traumatized (raped) in her teenage years.  She had a miscarriage, the fact of which (as well as the whole incident of rape) she concealed from her parents. Loretta complained to the school counselor but was brushed off. The rude comments of her fellow schoolmates shattered her further to the extent that she had to quit school. The trauma she experienced in her youth affected her children’s mental and emotional state. The parents’ stressors are manifested through many different ways, as in Loretta’s case; she became painfully overprotective (Williams 57).  The mother’s constant presence in her children’s emotional and physical lives became overbearing and counterproductive. The children’s first reaction was to pull away which created more emotional stress for the parent. That, in turn, pushed her closer to the children, and the vicious cycle continued. Eventually, the children became victims of their mother’s past.A young child idolizes his or her parents. If the father is a loving parent, but he is a “monster” to others, the child still accepts/bonds with him and stands in his defense. However, the conflict and the turmoil it brings are always present. Reconciliation is difficult, and at times is impossible. The children in such a situation carry that emotional turmoil for their entire life. Plath, in his poem “Daddy” painted a picture of a young woman, who discusses her turmoil, her internal battle and inner conflict. She cannot reconcile her love to her father and the terrible image he projects even when dead. She does admit, “I have been always scared of you”(father), and yet she declares her desire to commit suicide “to get back, get back to you” (Plath 2). Such a declaration of the devotion even in the paradigm of everlasting internal conflict is admire-some and yet somewhat bothersome. This young woman lived through hell every single year since she remembered. She labels her father a “brute”- a non – human creature, who was responsible for making her days seem like a nightmare.Another poem “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin is viciously straightforward, almost to the point of being shocking. And yet, the brutal honesty behind his words is almost uncanny. He was able to bring the truth from a few words that at times one needs volumes to express, “They fill you with the faults they had” (Larkin 1). This verse is an acknowledgement that the parents’ life stressors are transferred on to their children. This statement is further supported by Larkin’s explanation, “Man hands on misery to man”. Such transference of misery is not deliberate. As Loretta from Williams’ disclosure did not mean to expose the anguish of her terrible ordeal while sitting at the staffing at her daughter’s school (same school Loretta had attended) while her young daughter was present (Williams 57). Certainly, such a devastating effect is not a deliberate “damage” to one’s own child.  It is more so of not knowing how to control and balance such powerful emotions and by that to protect the children from devastating negative effects of the parents’ emotional stressors, past or present.Unquestionably, we cannot limit our discussion to the situations similar to Loretta’s. In my opinion, parents have to have skills of a psychologist in order to understand, predict, balance, and prevent their children from harm that can be done by their stressors. From personal observation, some parents cannot properly cater to the emotional misbalances in life, which in turn negatively affects the children. These parents are loving/soft natured, and their children are close to them. For example, loosing a job would definitely have a harmful emotional effect on the children. The children might start developing uncertain thoughts about the future of the entire family. Such a stress would cause the parent go chasing after jobs and failure in finding one would further increase the intensity of such a stressor. This might cause the head of the household to take out his frustrations by abusing the spouse and the children.Robert Kugelmann, a social scientist/psychological researcher, acknowledged this terrible effect of stress while trying to find the cause to “the stress-filled world” (Kugelmann 169). In his book chapter “The Age of Stress” he suggested more natural causes as necessary changes in the developing civilization. According to him, the stress is produced as the necessary byproduct behind the “need to adapt.” In accordance to Kuglmann’s statement, I believe that parents and their children going through financial stressors often adapt with the passage of time. They adapt new approaches to live according to what they can afford. This definitely shatters children emotionally. They once could afford to go to a private school, developed friendships, and now due to their parents’ financial status have to transfer to a public school with the new environment and new dynamics. Such a drastic change in their life can be and usually is a devastating emotional blow, which cab affects the rest of his/her life.To further display how parents might unintentionally harm their children emotionally, I can provide an example of a young couple’s terrible ordeal. A few years ago a young couple with their one-year-old baby had moved from India to start a new life in the United States. They did not have strong financial resources and were barely adapting to the new way of life in the United States. Unfortunately, the couple got reported by their neighbor of the “crime” to leave the baby unattended at their house while they were out grocery shopping.  As they could not properly explain themselves to the police, the child was taken away. At their financial situation and bare knowledge of how things work in this country they could not protect themselves through the legal channels. This situation caused unbelievable stress to the parents. Only after a year and a half, and with enormous support of their community, they were able to get their child returned. They returned to their country with disgust and complete aversion and promised to never return. They said that the incident would forever stay in their hearts and in the heart of their child. One unintentional mistake of leaving the baby unsupervised (that was often done in their country), affected the life and psychological state of their child. I am unsure about how their life progressed however after examining Loretta’s case, I assume that the parents would have become overly protective of their child. They might also have developed the inability to find the correct balance between their own unfortunate experiences and the emotional and psychological needs of their child.The book  “Children of Neglect” adds to the example above about child neglect (or what it is perceived what is the neglect). According to these authors, although the neglect can be unintentional it still can cause sever emotional damage to children, especially if processed by the legal system. The research can’t really specify how many children are involved in neglect cases, but it does mentions that it occurs with the higher frequency then does the child physical or sexual abuse. However, the consequences (i.e. emotional aftermath) can be as severe as in child abuse cases (G. Smith, and Fong 6).Another example, which supports the premises, is from my ex-neighbors family’s situation back in New York City. They were also good family friends. The loving couple had been married for seventeen years and had two beautiful kids who were always perfectly taken care of. The father was a very educated man and taught in a high school. The mother worked in Bank of America. Unfortunately, their perfect life came to a crash as the father was accused of the worst crime ever, child molestation, that allegedly happened a decade ago to one of his former students.He only had a few choices. The first one was to stay and fight or to flee and hope never to be found. He was an honest man and was mentally/emotionally strong, yet he chose to run. His logic was convincing: if he stayed, the family would be drained financially and emotionally. Neither he nor his wife would be able to work. Because of the high profile he had, media would make the story vast. Negative attention would shower upon the family. The court proceedings usually take anywhere from three months, to six month, to a year. Meanwhile, economic difficulties would render them homeless. Very few couples stay together under such circumstances. The break up between his wife and him would be inevitable. Even if he won the case, he would still loose his family, especially his children. He said that he would rather have his kids think that he left them than for them to see him being arrested and listen to the distorted news that would follow. He knew that the children would suffer without him around, but he calculated the degree of suffrage and chose the least. About his wife, he said, the financial troubles that she would find herself in would be nothing in comparison to the kind of emotional anguish she would experience if she sees her husband being arrested along with the explanations she would need to forward to her children.The children went through a psychological and emotional rollercoaster and faced several financial difficulties living without a father, but it was better than knowing that their father was in jail due to the allegations of child molestation. This would have completely destroyed the lives of the children, as they would have an extremely hard time dealing with the situation. In this case, the parent did harm the children, however, it was unintentional, and he did his best to do whatever to save them from such an extreme emotional and psychological trauma.In summation, the main theme acknowledged a damage that children might experience from their own family. Although, this argument was not based on discussing the intentional damage, it was presented, however, to investigate the other side of the mirror: emotional damage that parents inflict on their children unintentionally and not deliberately, either through transference of their own past stressors or not being able to hide the current stressors that might happen to anyone. Certainly, the parents cannot be blamed directly, but is the external blame needed when their own children suffer emotional consequences?  Thus, we focus here on existential phenomenon for a mere realization of such will make many parents more self-conscious and alert of the potential negative effects their emotional state could have on their children.

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